The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
August 18, 2005

Slow

I am officially the Sergeant at Arms on the council to save the Salton Sea. To be quite honest I have no idea what my duties are but I think the cause speaks for itself, and so my capacity is irrelevant. I do have several ideas but I am keeping them on the drafting board for now. But here I do have an idea ready for birth; why do people speed through when leaving their callback number on a message? I received a call yesterday from a action-adventure memorabilia club requesting my presence at a convention. The message itself was a trilogy in its scope, the hard sale in its fullest, but when he got to the call back number he zipped by like a junebug in the night. Luckily my Dictaphone has three speeds otherwise it might have meant another stain on the reputation, and I know first hand never to upset the convention types, their scorn is legendary. Peace.