The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
June 16, 2005

Drive

Sammy Shepard is in town this week and I finally got around to meeting him this morning. He's quite particular about his coffee so I was forced to double park at every Coffee Bean and Teas near the Reg Bev Will so he could search for a cup of coffee that didn't quote smell like Patti Smith unquote. I didn't get the joke so I pretended to concentrate on the road. The car ended up with the valets at Barneys. Sam was like a child in a candy store. He must have dropped his "it's either this shirt or the dental work" line on every saleswoman in the joint. That's cultural judo for you, Diary. He ended up getting fitted for a flattering Paul Smith suit that had the lining on the outside. As he flirted, I stood alone, sipped my tea and tried not to be stared at. Asallam, Diary.