The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
June 2, 2005

Roots

One advantage celebrity has in the world of horticulture is tree buying. Most of the nurseries will deliver and plant--in their world they use the term sink--a tree on spec for one to evaluate. It is not unlike fine rug buying. This is the third ginko I've tried over the wading pool but I think this one may work. I was hoping the fallen leaves would have a medicinal effect in the pool water but my tree surgeon claims that the drug comes not from the leaf but from the root. Anyway, I will have Monolo take some samples. If the project goes anything like the lemon tree fiasco of a year back, Manolo will be selling the ginko juice from behind a small crate on the highway and then running the operation from jail for the few hours I left him there to stew in it. Another vacuum salesman is here so I must make room for his soil samples. Notice a theme, Diary?