The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
May 2, 2005

Par Avion

Manolo received three boxes of Australian hair removal gelatin today. Yours truly signed it and I couldn't help but make an off-color joke for the delivery guy. Tito wasn't reacting well to the relaxation music I had been playing, so I had the Muzak guy come in to bring some of the edge off the elbow as my music producer friend might say. Tonight is our dinner party and I won't tempt any cancellations by saying anything more. I don't wish to oversteer the conversation tonight, but I have asked Scotty to bring up a couple of topics I'd like to hear Bruce Dern's opinion on. Some of the topics are tough cars to park, but I have faith in Scotty's ability to mention manure in an off-hand way. On the culinary front, Manolo has been baking all morning. Insert your own joke, Diary, but insert it carefully.