The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
April 27, 2005

Pitcher

Now I know why the Ishii kid's radio has been keeping radio silence. A chain of trucks was lined up and down the street by his place last week. I thought perhaps they were making a movie in the canyons. Anyway, cut to this morning when at my gate appears my house inspecter Morton and a tall gentleman who might have been my stunt double had he been born twenty years earlier. Apparently Derek is a pitcher for the Dodgers and is buying Ishii's place. I asked why Ishii was selling. The pitcher said Kenny had been traded to the Mets. He did not look like he had a family and I was not in the mood for much chit chat as I was mentally preparing for Leon's Kendo lesson. They asked only for a flashlight to check the roof rafters. I know for a fact they're clean. Kenny is a clean guy.