The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
April 16, 2005

A4

The English have better sized paper, don't lie to yourself, Diary. I got a long letter from an old friend who retired in Scotland. Anyway, I read it outside because the window guys are taking all the dirt from the rainy season off of the windows. For a time I thought the Santa Anas were just blowing valley smog out to sea. Then I realized the despicable shape of the windows. Manolo won't do them, so I hire the same company that does that Crystal Cathedral out in Orange County. They know glass. The winds kicked up on the patio and I lost a couple of the pages to the sky gods. Apparently the bird watching is splendid in Scotland as he was writing about renting a Jeep for the Honey Buzzard migration. Two missing pages later, he's bailing his girlfriend out of jail. I should have my P.I. make some inquiries. Gott segne, Diary.