The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
April 15, 2005

Green

An old theater professor from Arizona called to say hello, Diary. A pleasant surprise to write the least. Not because we simultaneously began quoting “Modern Major General” from Pirates, (although he claimed Sprite fell from his nose after our laugh when we both misspoke the word 'waterloo') but rather the surprise derived from his advice to me. He recommended I draw a self portrait of myself with charcoal. “Huh?” was my initial response and “not a bad idea” was my afterthought. Well, time to let the renaissance man out of the ol’ bag, Diary. I heard Danny Glover did his sketch years ago and it changed his life. Anyway, Constance is on her way over to watch The Graduate (her call) and I’ve a sketch pad to hunt down. By the by, Diary, if Hoffman did his own portrait, would he accentuate the nose? Don’t know myself. Let’s sleep on it. Until then... buy the ticket Diary.