The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
February 25, 2005

Dandy

I stood for ten minutes or so, enjoying a orange-apple smoothie when the opening strings of Die Valkyrie came up on the stereo without warning. I happened to be looking out to sea and I think that brought out a new angle in the music. I sound like a breakdancer but that's how it went down. I got a bunch of photos back from my lab. Not to be immodest, but there are many keepers in the haul. I got a good one of a gull sleeping. If I can come up with a funny caption, maybe I'll send it to my friend at National Geographic. I'm lying about one part of that sentence. I'll leave it to you which. The movers delivered the player piano today. It looks even better than it did at the auction. Sadly, I was outbid for the music rolls, so for now all I have is Yankee Doodle Dandy. That might upset Manolo. Mahalo.