The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
January 10, 2005

Six

I saw my Australian neighbor on the street running through the rain this morning, wrapped in a billowing plastic caul. The gullies are running high enough with rain that if his Nikes fail him he's likely to wake up in a Bodega Bay coast guard cutter. I share his commitment to fitness, I just approach it from the other direction. To that end, I've taken my neuronutritionist's advice and started including a lot of semiformented sour mash into Manolo's ginko shooters. The effect? Let's just say I suddenly remembered how many times the word "seems" appears in Hamlet and why its an important word in the play. Memory boosters are a wonderful thing. As long as we stick with Shakespeare and avoid the Silver Screen Partners era, Diary.