The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
December 27, 2004

Nonstop

Nonstop, LAX to Zurch. Who knew such a thing was possible. The swiss know how to travel. Given the size of this country, I suppose they must do a bit of it. They had three different temperature levels for the hot face towel. At least in first class. The cabin was surprisingly empty, so Constance and I horded all of the decent magazines before liftoff and didn't think twice about it. Somehow in all of the security screens, my matches magically turned into a zippo with an embossed "keep on truckin" guy on the side. It's a push for me, but I feel for the gentleman or gentlewoman who has my box of wet-strikes. Well, enjoy, wherever you are. The Swiss air reminds me of the smell of Flagstaff in the winter. The Swiss flag reminds me of first aid.