The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
December 22, 2004

Days of Thunder

In the mail today I received the libretto to Mark Knopfler's new album. And my custom-tinted bifocuals. Manolo called them my founding father goggles when I lost the original pair. I had been resorting to the aviators, which Constance, I think, would throw out if given the opportunity. I am still airing out the new Range Rover in the barn. I asked my detailing guy to leave a tin of muddled hay, greasewood, patchouli and long-bean vanilla in the back seat to combat that plastic smell. Alphonse is a curious fellow so I wasn't surprised when he asked who had given me the idea. I lied and said Tom Cruise. I know he is a client of Alphonse's. God knows what I've set in motion. Merry Christmas to all.