The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
December 13, 2004

Cypress

Manolo has trained Tito to sit on his shoulder. Oddly, Manolo looks less like a pirate as a result. Maybe for his next trick, he can train himself to clean out the cage every once in a while. I don't mean to sound bitter, Diary. Manolo did knock me out with a new juice shooter this morning. Glorious. Well, I am heading out to do some Xmas shopping at Fred Siegel. Unlike Neiman's, they have no draconian food and beverage policy. I haven't thrown any business Marcus's way since one of their perfume-wielding associates "asked" me to leave my Jamba Juice on the sidewalk of Wilshire Blvd. I ended up walking down to my agent's office and leaving it with him as I really needed some fresh socks and I couldn't afford to argue. Maybe what the grounds need is a modest Cypress grove. I will ask my tree guy.