The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
December 7, 2004

Method

Lately, it has been hard to separate the grain from the chaff. I had a dream last night that I was in Albuquerque again, and I was growing flowers on a championship billiards table. I tried to make change for a customer but my soul turned into magnets. Figure that one out. Very avant garde. Perhaps I need to do some more vitamin dialing. I have occupied myself lately with role preparation. I camped out at a Mid-Wilshire Fantastic Sam's for the good part of the day and soaked up the scene. Maybe too much. To me it is more professional to say the word "permanent" rather than just "perm." Also it is always proper to drink Diet Dr. Pepper and wait until I gave two haircuts until I sweep the stall. I am going to ask for a name change on this one too, I haven't done that in my entire career but I can't get the name "Randy" out of my mind.