The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
November 14, 2004

Imports

I was in the sauna all morning. Monolo has me on a liquid diet now. He cleaned out the Range Rover the other day and found a sauce packet from Arby's. Whoops. I have always contended that I would make a lousy thief, or maybe it is just that he is on mark as the sleuth. Anyway, I was back at the West LA library yesterday, StoryTime is in swing again and I for one am happy. The kids and I read Freckle Juice, a book by Judy Blume. Don't take this story lightly like I did, it unfolds like a Greek tragedy. It was quite a journey. After I was done I needed a nap. So I took the cue from the kids and grabbed one. Afterwards, I told Monolo that I need a suit of armor for the grey room, but I don't think he believes me. He just laughs and shuts me up with wheat grass shots. Til tomorrow...