The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
November 6, 2004

Unison

Today life feels boundless. At the same time, it feels held together by a couple of rubber bands that have been in the sun too long. It's difficult to know if this a good thing or not. I will say the feeling is pleasant and whatever is causing it, the endorphins are responding well. The property suffered a bit of a gull invasion this morning. Manolo has a thing he does with an air horn for bird problems like this, but I called him off. There must have been two hundred on the barn alone. I got in a mood and had Manolo get my field glasses and Peterson's. I hunted around the grounds for a bit. Quite without warning they all took off in unison as I watched from the tall grasses. I guess the only way I'm going to do any more damage on my life list is to get back to New Zealand.