The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
September 14, 2004

Backyard excitements

I had been researching soft liners for the pool online this afternoon. Then I heard a crash and got to the windows onto the breezeway in time to see my two gardeners struggling to pull their mower out of my ditch as the mower's engine spewed a jet of gasoline skyward. It reminded me of a similar event that happened on the set of a movie I worked on. Except replace the mower with Sean Penn, Diary. Anyway, with the excitement over I went back to my research. I would have offered them a lemonade or some such from the kitchen, but my dishwasher doesn't always get my endorphine-loader regimen residue off the glasses, as my keno instructor Leon knows all too well. Out of space for today.