The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
September 12, 2004

Full Sail

The mornings have been productive. I finally got to digging on the wading pool yesterday, so you can keep your wisecracks to yourself diary. Manolo's Bowflex program is working like gangbusters. I felt like I was slicing carrots out there. Malibu is known for its extremely stubborn outter-terra, but it was no match for my determination and my spade. Thirsty, I headed inside and grabbed a glass of what I thought was organic grape juice, but after a sip I was shocked to find it was pomegranite juice. It blew my mind. Manolo says it's a fantastic antioxidant. I told him he best not talk to me that way. He snickered as he headed to do his pilates in the raquetball court. Why he insists on this practice is another entry. I am off to the Volkswagon dealership.