The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
August 30, 2004

Women's sticks

Perhaps it has been a while since I enjoyed an apres-ski cocktail, but I would have sworn I still had my avant-ski down pat. The evidence doesn't support this, sadly. My brand new pair of Rossies--Zenith Z1's if your keeping score at home--fell under my waxing hand moments after I pulled them out of the rover. I was halfway through the second ski when I answered nature's call. As I waited for nature to hang up, I breezed through the "ownies" in the barn bathroom. That's Terrence Stamp's slang for owner's manual, but how I know that is another entry, diary. Anyway, I've got to go, so I'll let the air out of this story quickly: these are women's sticks.