The following is a work of fiction.

Not Nick Nolte's Diary, Malibu, California
August 16, 2004

What "diary" means

I was hunched over the Gateway this morning and upon entering the dining room, Manolo asked me what I was doing. Yes, Manolo will ask such direct questions, and more often, perhaps, than I or any guests I may have might be comfortable with. But very often his questions elicit satori in their answering, so attention is paid. At least by me. I explained that I had picked up the diarist bug. He misunderstood me at first in a predictable way. Then he asked me if only women had diaries. The fact is: "journals" are for sissies. I calmly explained that Steinbeck and Hemingway both had diaries and that that was good enough for me. He nodded and cleared the table. I was going to write about something else, but it looks like I'm almost out of room here. As salaam alaikum.